


black magic woman

by the_hero_she_deserves



Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: Affairs, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anger, Angst, Break Up, Complicated Relationships, Conversations, Dark, Darkness, Dimanda, Drabble, Drabble Collection, F/F, Falling In Love, Feelings, Heartbreak, Inspired by Music, Light Angst, Love, Lust, Lust at First Sight, Melancholy, POV First Person, Rain, Rare Pairings, Separations
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25755343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_hero_she_deserves/pseuds/the_hero_she_deserves
Summary: 𝘎𝘰𝘵 𝘢 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘤 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘎𝘰𝘵 𝘢 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘤 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘢 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘤 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘎𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵𝘚𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘢 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘤 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘚𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘭𝘖𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦- Black Magic Woman, VCTRY
Relationships: Diana Cavendish & Amanda O'Neill, Diana Cavendish/Amanda O'Neill
Kudos: 7





	1. 1

“Manda.” I begin in - this - our latest meeting. We sit in darkness as the sun peeks out on the horizon. The dawn is begging to return us to light.

At once we were strangers, we are not so anymore. Slathered and seasoned I’ve become in her intoxicating taste. Her cloak is the thing that keeps me warm.

“Yes?” Her raspy voice rings out.

“We need to talk.” I say in a tone, unrecognizable.

“About what?” She turns over.

We are in a space visited many times before; her bed. I search for the words, but they escape me. I look to her for guidance and find myself lost again. She looks at me and laughs, and though it’s at my expense, that laughter fills my mind with a buzz. I can’t help it.

The echoes reverberating in my mind are like some ear worm you can’t get rid of.

It’s all so tantalizing and she knows it is.

“Speechless again, I see.” She teases.

“Why?” I say, suddenly.

“Why what?” Amanda’s face curves in that adorably, confused way.

“Why… did you speak to me all those months ago? What is even the point of us meeting like this? Does it have a purpose… the time we spend together?” I feel the speech expectorate from me quicker than I can seize control of my mind.

“My goal is what you’re asking about, huh?” She smirks.

I feel my body grow weak once more.

“Well…” She continues. “I thought you were hot, nothin’ more, nothin’ less.” She folds her arms behind her head and lays back.

We both know that isn’t the truth.

The look in my eyes gives her all she needs to rescind. Reconsider. Begrudgingly, she sits up and this time, I’m sure it’s the truth.

She sighs.

“Fine.” She starts. “At first, everyone was talkin’ about you. The Great Cavendish. Great legacy, great reputation, inherent talent. A promising future! Everyone revered you. …I thought I’d see what all the fuss was about.” She shrugs.

“So, I did.” She keeps on. “And even from the very moment I saw you, I could tell that all I’d heard was true. You could do no wrong. Yet… there was somethin’ else about you. Somethin’ all the rest couldn’t see. So, I continued to see ya. Whatever chance I got. I mean, who wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to hang out with the most pristine Cavendish there ever was?” She has this tone dripping in her voice.

It sounds dark and evil, but even if I tried I cannot place a word to it. She’s being sarcastic too.

But why?

I eye her, expecting her to continue. With a pause, she does.

But, there’s a shift in the atmosphere and I prepare myself for more.

Even as I do prepare, I am caught off guard. Amanda rolls over on top of me. I am pinned underneath her as her eyes glisten down into mine. There is something dark and alluring about her. There always had been. And I can barely contain myself. Her eyes, they look like crystals in this light.

That allure is what attracted me in the first place. It held me even now. Her body and its warmth, its weight pushing down on me in the most tempting way. She is gentle with me, though she doesn’t have to be. She never forces, and instead it is welcome. Amanda leads a hand, in a caress, to my cheek. A wisp that draws her face closer to mine, that affords me the chance to feel her breath on my lips. It is even warmer than her body.

My mind is fuzzy again. My body is at her disposal now. My will is unhinged with all her temptation. She knows this too, all too well. She knows she has me.

And some part of me loathes that she does.

Slowly, she speaks again. I cannot quite detect the tone, but it is there. It takes a moment for my ears to stop ringing, for my vision to focus squarely on the woman above me.

“You were such a good girl.” She begins. “The best of the best.”

My heart feels as though it may leap from my chest. The only barrier that keeps it in is Amanda’s form. I feel nearly drunk.

“You were like a goddess among…. well… everyone else. All that goodness you had, all that light inside… I wanted it for myself. I was thinkin’ it was about time to put myself out there again, and hell, it was even better if it was a Cavendish.”

Her fingers brush through my hair. It falls in the spaces between. It’s a bit dirty as I haven’t had a shower yet.

For a moment, I think I hear anger. For a moment, I think I hear resentment. But, no. I realize it’s none of those things.

Instead, it is something more dark, more evil. The dark has come for me. I realize it is bitterness; the indisputable desire to conquer all and deny everything exists in her. It is the indomitable, inextinguishable emptiness wishing to consume everything, to see everything fade to black, till it is no more.

She lingers a moment and then shifts again. Her fingers move to my neck and run along it. I shiver under her once more. I am sensitive there and only she knows it.

A blush grows on my face and she knows she’s captured me again.

“When I found you had darkness too, I finally understood. I finally got what intrigued me about you. You weren’t this perfect, pretty picture everyone painted of you. You weren’t what you allowed people to believe you were. And that darkness, I knew, could only grow. It could overwhelm the senses. It could grow into the light, if only you’d let it. If only you’d accept it. I want it all, Diana. I wanted to see that light fade. I wanted to see it fade from under me. I wanted that darkness to be drawn out of you, like moth to flame. I wanted you to squirm in realization. I desired to see that perfect portrait tarnished. And I wanted to do it.” She speaks as her hands run over the crevices of my neck and the nooks of my shoulders.

They reach over the dips of my jaw, up to my ear and even some part of my right eye.

There is something dark and evil about Amanda. Something I cannot quite detect and it is here. It’s above me. And I am stunned into silence.

She makes sure to take her finger away and look into my eyes as she says…

“So I did.”


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 𝘎𝘰𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘦, 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺  
> 𝘛𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵   
> 𝘐𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘦

So she did.

Our eyes lock. Her green somehow have grown even blacker with a twinkle in them I can only assume has ill intentions. I can say nothing. I can only stare in response. I didn’t know what was worse;

The fact that she’d managed to deceive me all this time, or that, despite it and everything else, all I desired was more of Amanda’s attention. My body felt starved, but my heart felt cold. I think some part of me knew. Every warning sign, every flag, every thing I ignored had proven those nagging little fears correct.

And as much as I loathe that it was correct, as sick as I feel, with Amanda that all could vanish. She stares at me with those eyes and I just melt away. My anxieties are gone. My uncertainties become nothingness. She need but gaze my way and life could just disappear.

So it did.

And then I realize that it’s not gone completely. There is something rising inside me. Those sick, dark feelings and their strength. My face twists from its bliss and my body tenses even as Amanda is lovingly kissing it. With a force unfamiliar to me, I shove her off me. She tumbles over to the other side of the bed. She’s angry.

I sit up. My back is all she can see. She glares at me. I know she’s glaring daggers into my back behind me. I can feel she is about to speak, or yell, but she doesn’t.

She can feel something too.

A chill in the air, though there is no draft, nor window open.

A tenseness hangs, though no words have been spoken yet.

A heavy feeling lingers where it had been lighter before.

My anger.

My rage is what she senses as it leaks out of me. I cannot hold it back. I can barely manage it. I am alight with fury, but it seems the room has frozen over.

Slowly, she moves to touch me. She wishes to reclaim me under her spell. My eyes meet with hers in such sharpness, she immediately pulls back. For the first time, I see fear enter her gaze. She worries for what I might do, though I haven’t moved since I’ve sat up.

A moment more passes us by. Then…

“A notch in your belt.” I speak.

“Huh?” She answers.

“Just a name on your list.” I continue.

“Diana…” She trails.

“A toy for your enjoyment….” I trail.

“Come on…” Amanda urges softly.

“A conquest for your triumph… your reputation….” My voice is level, just barely.

“I…” She can only say.

“You wanted to use me in the worst way…” I state.

“Don’t…” She can only manage.

“You wanted to corrupt me.” My voice grows.

“Do this…” She begs.

“You wanted to see my light fade.” I further my speech.

“Diana…” She insists again. My name is softer now, but it won’t work.

“You wanted to make it clear I’m just some object to you.” My voice grows again.

“You wanted to express that this is a game to you.” It breaks under the emotion. I can feel it in my throat. The tension, the hurt, the dryness as I speak, and the cracks in its sound when it dares to utter a word.

“You wanted to prove that I mean nothing to you.” My voice quells, only a bit, only for now.

I am holding back tears. My mind buzzes again, and so too, does my stomach wretch about this.

“Diana…” She repeats.

“So you did.” My voice calms as I deliver the statement. But, calm must not be mistaken for weak or warm.

My heart is beating so hard it may leap from its chest, if only to escape the emptiness and pain. My head is reeling and I feel a headache coming on steadily. A numbing, cold sensation is found at my fingertips, beginning to wash over me. My stomach slowly settles.

I wanted her to know my hurt. I wanted to see that confident smirk wiped from her face. I wanted to make her squirm in realization, the cognizance of what she has done. I desired to see it happen underneath my words.

I wanted to see that light fade. I wanted her ambition to dissipate. I wanted that brokenness to be drawn to a fault. I wanted to break her the way she broke me. I desired to see it happen, only as she deserved it.

And I wanted to do it.

So I did.


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶  
> 𝘚𝘰 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘤 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯  
> 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦

The moments are still and silent between us. The air in the room has become so thick. It’s suffocating. The only sounds to be heard are the raindrops outside that we failed to notice had started before. How appropriate there should be a storm, I think. I suppose that even clouds get too heavy and eventually must allow the rain to fall from them. That thunder or lightning crash from the sky, even if there was none right now. I could liken myself to those clouds; how I drank up all the deceit; how I took in that fallacy of love and allowed it to stay. There’d have to be a storm sometime, and like outside, the storm was happening now.

I am too angry to stay there with her. I cannot stand being in that room any longer. That sanctuary - or what I considered to be such - is now desecrated. It is pouring, but I am standing outside. I don’t mind. After all, this weather is better than the climate of that bedroom.

I could wash it away. The rain would be a start, then a bath. I could cleanse myself of this - of her. It would take time - certainly - but it’s a start.

I want to forget. I want to just forget.

“Diana!” I hear my name.

I resist the urge to turn my head and keep looking straight on.

There are splashes of puddled water that meet with my skin from afar. She draws closer. Her sneakers are making sloshing sounds and they stop, as she does, a few feet back from me. She seems out of breath - I can hear the huff even over the white noise of the rain. I can see her in my periphery. She is dressed in a tank top and some form of basketball shorts. Despite the icy rain falling, touching more of her skin than mine, she stands still. It’s as though the chill does not run through her; though, it may be more accurate to say her chill is colder than the one from the sky.

She isn’t leaving. She’s determined to stay. She stares on at me, a gentleness, a hurt in her eyes - something I have never seen before.

She wants to say something.

“I’m horrible.” She starts. “It’s always been that way. I don’t get it myself, but, I’ve just got this… rage, I guess. A desire to watch this shitty world burn.” A pause.

“I’m not sayin’ that you gotta care about any of this. After I’m through, if you want to walk away, I’ll understand. That’s just another thing I deserve. That I gotta deal with.” Amanda says. Again, I resist my urge to look at her.

“I’m full of darkness. It’s all I’ve ever known. My mother’s been missing for years and no one knows where she is. My dad wants me to make somethin’ of myself, but he can’t seem to put the damn bottle down for more than ten minutes. He’s a damn hypocrite. My grandma changed when my grandpa died. She keeps tryin’ to match me up with these guys even though I’ve done everythin’ short of screaming at her to let her know I’m gay. I’m not into all that, but anyway… no one understands me. No one _wants_ to understand me. So, I let them think whatever they want. I do whatever they want just to piss the time away. And then, I do what I want. It isn’t a lot, really, that I get to do those things. Sure, I say whatever the hell I want, but doing is different from saying, right?” Another pause.

If she has a point, I beg her to get to it.

“Telling all that to you doesn’t change anything, I know. And speaking it doesn’t excuse what I’ve done. I just thought that you might like to try to understand me. That you might like to know everything before you go.” A pause. A breath.

Then, another story.

“I didn’t think I deserved you.” She begins. “You were somethin’ special and I was nothin’. I’m just some kid from the Black Magic Academy. I lurk in the shadows. That’s where I live, I can’t live anywhere else. … At my school, they teach you about opportunity. How, if there is one before you, you mustn’t hesitate. Seize it. Own it. See it through to its end. And when I saw you… that night… I took that chance. To be honest, I more than expected you to say no. But, you didn’t.”

The rain hits even harder against the pavement. I am waiting for a bus, the likes of which will not come for a while. Or perhaps, I’m waiting for a reason; a reason to turn and face her. Perhaps I await an explanation to close this new fissure in my heart. Perhaps I await my hurt to stop enough so that I may move - move away from this. Perhaps.

“So, yeah. I played it off like I’d scored big and I knew I could. I acted confidently because I couldn’t have you doubting me too. I courted you. I wanted to see how long this would last. And… it lasted longer than I ever thought it could. I’m horrible. Because originally, it had been about impressing my classmates at the academy. It was an opportunity. It was a challenge. I put myself to it. It was… all those things I said back in the room. I’m pitiful, really. And… I don’t deserve that pity either. But, anyway. I wanted you to know that right up until now, I never really thought I deserved you. I was almost fooled myself, somewhere in the middle there. I thought… being loved by her isn’t so bad. I could get used to this. Then, I realized, even if I wanted it, it couldn’t happen. We’re completely different people who walk two different paths. I… couldn’t dream of tainting yours more than I already have.”

I could hear the quiver in her voice.

I could sense she wished to cry.

I know - standing out in the rain - she is trying her best not to get more wet. Every part of her aches for it, but she cannot let it happen. She is in a storm too, all her own. Still, she has more to say.

“But it ain’t about _that_ anymore. I don’t give a shit what those assholes at the academy think. I’ve never cared for their gossip bullshit. I know this doesn’t fix anything, so I’ll call ya a cab if you want. But… I’m sorry. I fucked up the one thing I actually held dear. The one thing I gave a damn about. So, yeah… I’ll uh… just go back to the darkness. And I’ll never try to crawl out of it again. I’m real sorry Diana, and now… you know everything.” Amanda reaches for her cell.

She begins to search through her contacts for a cab service. She mutters to herself as she looks. Her hand shakes and she tries to still it. She sniffles and the waters in her eyes ebb and flow again. Her hair is soaked, her clothes are drenched, and her body now has a shiver. I can see she’s cold, but she remains stationary. She taps on a contact on the screen. I turn to face her for the first time since the bedroom.

She places the phone to her ear. Her green mingles with my blue again. I can, somehow, feel her heart pounding with grief. I can feel my own pang as I witness the hurt magnify. I see her lips twitch as though there’s more to say,but she still doesn’t say it. The phone rings and she waits for the call to be answered.

I cannot stop looking at her.

She can’t stop looking at me.

She’s waiting for something, more than the rings of the phone to break and the call to connect. She is waiting for me, for my voice. She wants to hear something, anything. She awaits the white noise of the rain to be interrupted. She awaits a reprieve for her mind, of the buzzing thoughts that haven’t stopped since I left.

She awaits the promise of silence, away from the high-pitched ringing in her ears. She awaits the echoes of her outcry to settle between us.

There is something else in her eyes, for a moment. I think I see it. And then, it’s gone. Our eye contact is broken; the call has connected.

“I need a cab, please.” Her voice breaks.

I can barely hear her above the rain, now. Or maybe it’s my thoughts that I can’t hear her above.

Her voice shakes again as she gives her address. She turns her back and I can tell:

The storm inside Amanda has started to rage.


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missing you is just something I  
> Cannot do  
> But it's hard when  
> All these things remind me  
> Of you

_(Amanda POV)_

The rain dries up and the sky returns to a pale blue. Though it’s the beginning of the morning, there is still a light fog. It hovers over the buildings, the ground, and the fields. The sun is just an orb in the sky, made duller by the clouds and gloom.

I have been awake most of the night. My eyes burn - sting - because of how long they’ve been open. How little I’ve slept, how empty my bed is without her - it’s enough to keep anyone up at night.

My skin is cold and no matter how many blankets I pile on I cannot get warm. My throat feels sore; I think I’m getting sick. My face muscles are tired from scrunching up. In addition to being open, my eyes hurt also from the endless bouts of tears. I have not showered in days. I do not desire to.

I have not changed my clothes. I don’t have the energy. Miraculously, a bird chirps outside. Even its joy is too much to listen to. I spill a pillow over my face and curl it around my ears. It doesn’t block it out entirely, but it does muffle it. It’s 6:00 AM, and though I have school, I shall not go.

I don’t want to get up. So, I don’t.

I don’t want to live. So, I don’t.

I don’t want to exist, or breathe. But, I have to do those things.

I don’t want to hurt. But, I do.

She hasn’t responded to any calls I do make or messages I do send. She isn’t here and I have to remember that she - really - isn’t.

The world outside may have fixed itself, but I have never felt more broken.

She was my Earth; she kept me grounded. Now, I’m afloat in this abyss of light. An all-consuming luminescence that is far too bright and overwhelming. It is a shine that just absorbs everything in its path; a glare that blinds you and inundates your senses; a purifying, harmful, white light that swallows you whole. It singes you from the inside out till all you are is ash. It eats at you and creates a void I am no stranger to. However, this void is deeper than any I’ve ever known. It is despair. And it becomes me.

I miss her. But I can’t.

And it’s just another thing I cannot do.

* * *

_(Diana POV)_

She says I know everything.

I feel like I know nothing.

I knew nothing at the start and, somehow, it feels even less now. I have since returned home. I’ve returned to studying, to taking care of what family I do have.

The sun shines in the sky, despite being an overcast day. It is only comforting in the sense that it is warm. My days have become meaningless; they are as immaterial as my nights.

I open a book just to close it again. I pick up another just to stare at the same word an innumerable amount of times, then shut that one as well.

The days tick by. I am advanced in my studies and must slow down. My family can manage themselves and I… am unoccupied once more.

The clock ticks and I watch the hours pass by with it. They fly, much like the birds outside. Even their jubilance is too much to look at. I pick up a pen to write, however, each time I try, I cannot inscribe one word onto the page. I have so much to fill my head. Yet, somehow it eludes me when I sit down to record it.

I have washed my sheets.

I have cleaned nearly every room in the estate.

I have prepared dinner every night this past week.

I have advanced, yet again, in my studies.

I have helped others to do the same.

I have done this nearly three times over.

But, as much as I work, it does not distract me.

As much as I do, it does not aid me.

As much as I fill the space, more of it just seems to create itself for me.

And as much as I try to repair myself, I only wind up falling more apart. I refuse to admit I’m broken, even with my pieces scattered into my responsibilities as they are.

I do all these things, yet the one thing I wish I could do, I cannot.

And another thing that I don’t want to do, I cannot seem to stop either.

I am powerless to my feelings, and I am forced to admit that I… miss her.

I miss Amanda.

And try as though I might, I cannot do anything about that either.

She was the air - a refreshing gust of wind that blew into my life with such tempestuous force I could not help but be swept up into her.

And these nights where I lay alone in my bed without her; where I smooth the sheets next to me as if she’ll suddenly be there; where the air is too humid and suffocating and I cannot help but toss and turn to find comfort, are the worst.

They are the hardest.

I feel as though, more than ever, I am drowning in that darkness.

It’s black. It is all that surrounds me. It is all I ever see. It’s cruel the way it makes me think of it. It’s all I can seem to focus on; I’ve become a woman obsessed.

It is all that is on my mind. It entices me.

It enthralls me. It bewitches me. It enchants me.

It calls out to me, in the same way Amanda used to.

It is an emptiness that eats you away from the inside out. My heart is aching, but my body is burning, and my mind is buzzing once more. It is an all-consuming ebony that floods your mind with impurities. It overwhelms your senses. It corrupts you. It creates desires that seem insatiable - a void that has opened up in me that I am no stranger to.

It is a deeper darkness than I’ve ever known. I am drowning in its pools - helpless.

It is a certain kind of despair and it becomes me.

And it is another thing I cannot resist; I am made powerless by it again.


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A light that gave me love  
> The dark that started trouble  
> And the ways that you have changed me  
> Are  
> Irrevocable

_(Diana POV)_

I don’t fit in anymore. There is something different about me and everyone notices it.

Despite how I’ve tried to be discreet, I am an open book, it seems. They all can tell that I’m broken - all the professors, all the students, they all see me in a different light. I am cast in its shine, branded anew and there is nothing I can do about it.

They all stare on at me with judgmental eyes. They all think these thoughts that shall never make their ways out of their mouths. I find I am thinking differently too. Nothing is quite the same as it was.

Their scrutiny - it’s like it singles out all of my experiences. It’s as though it senses that I am not pure any longer. It smells as the scent of fear to bloodhounds does, that I am changed, corrupted, altered somehow.

I am both relieved and remiss that my family has not half a mind to care about me. With blind eyes they see; no, it’s more like they shield themselves by turning their gazes to other things.

I was once unnoticed. Invisible.

Now, it seems I am all anyone wants to look at. No longer do they turn their gazes to other things. I am forced to wear this difference as a spotlight. And I think it is just another light I shall never adapt to.

I don’t fit in anymore, not when I have all this darkness in my life.

Not when I have all this darkness in me.

* * *

_(Amanda POV)_

I don’t belong anymore.

No one pays me any mind anymore. There is something off about me and everyone sees it. They all avoid me like I’m the plague. And I haven’t exactly been discreet about it either. Not showing up to school will certainly brand you anew with an air of difference. I’m not up to talking about it. I’ve certainly closed myself off - not that anyone is rushing to talk anyway.

They all avoid eye contact with me. Despite their refusal to look at me, I can feel their judgments. They all clam up. They won’t say a word, but that doesn’t keep them from having thoughts. They think differently of me now, and perhaps, I am thinking differently too.

Their exclusion.

So, this is what it really feels like to be no one. So, this is what it feels like to be truly unworthy of love. I’ve known that I wasn’t cared for, but it never really felt that way till now.

It’s as though they sense that I am not pure any longer. It illuminates as fire to moths do, that I am changed, corrupted, altered somehow. They all notice, they all look on, but all afraid to get too close. They fear they will burn if they do.

I am both relieved and remiss that I’ve been left alone. I’ve always said that and now it’s come true. I don’t always mean it, but it’s too late now and I cannot complain about it. They’re deaf, all of them, and could tune me out like white noise. No, it’s more like they place themselves out of earshot by plugging their headphones in or turning up the TV, making them unreachable.

I was once the talk of the town. Centerstage.

Now, it seems I’m undesirable - in all senses of the word. No longer do they wish to indulge my stories. I am forced to wear this difference as a curtain. And I think it is just another aspect of darkness I will never adapt to.

I don’t belong anymore. Not when I have allowed myself to be changed.

Not when I have allowed the light in.


End file.
